The Dangers of Subscriberitis and How to Cure It

| Published 24 January, 2012 | 1 Comment

There’s an awful new disease taking our world by storm. You might have heard about it, and if you spend any time at all online, you’re at risk.

Doctors and internet specialists have just discovered an awful new disease called Subscriberitis.

It infects people of all races and income levels, but those most susceptible are young, very young, elderly, middle-aged, super old, male, female and anyone who subscribes to newsletters and blog feeds they don’t need.

There are many symptoms of Subscriberitis, including but not limited to:

  • A full inbox
  • Rapid and psychotic bashing of the “Delete” key
  • Repeated dishonest use of the “Mark as Read” function
  • Fear that your feed reader must be malfunctioning
  • Paranoid suspicions that people update their blogs for no other reason than to piss you off
  • Flagging interest in the affairs of others, even family
  • Also dry eyes, cotton mouth, shriveled privates, swamp foot and constipation. Possibly also stunted growth and death.

Luckily there’s a free and somewhat ticklish self-exam you can perform in the privacy of your own home…

How to know if you have Subscriberitis

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Posted in Happy Living, The Lighter Side | 1 Comment

8 ways to improve upon old and stolen blog posts

| Published 14 November, 2011 | 3 Comments

Every once in a while we get that one-in-a-million idea for a blog post.

A brilliant idea, this one. Genius even.

It’s so unique, there’s no chance that anyone on the whole bedamned interwebs has ever thought of it. This magnificent post will nearly write itself, earn you a big fat wad of cash and an appearance on Oprah.

And just out of curiosity, and to prove to yourself how much of a pioneer you are, you go to Google to search for the topic. As you press “Search”, you just know the results are going to come back as a “BIG FAT ZERO!”

But as your heart drops through the soles of your feet, what you see instead is this:

Millions of results.

That’s the look of competition, and it hurts. It feels like theft, because it was your idea.

Well, lucky for us there’s hope.

You don’t need to hit a grand slam, reinvent the wheel or find life on other planets every time you write.

Next time you’re expecting virgin writing territory, but instead come to find a well-trodden path complete with discarded candy bar wrappers and beer cans, try one of these 8 Ways to Freshen Up All The Blog Posts People Steal From You.

Be fancy and write it better

You know how many sportswriters and sportscasters talk about the Pittsburgh Steelers? I have no idea. But between all the newspapers, radio shows, TV programs out there, you can bet there are a LOT of people talking about the Steelers from week to week.

But only ONE person gets the coveted National Sportscaster or Sportswriter of …

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Posted in Getting Traffic | 3 Comments

When It’s Okay to Let Your Business Fail

| Published 24 October, 2011 | 18 Comments

This is a guest post by Ryan Sullivan of No More Bacon. Now, if you know me, you know I’m not a fan of guest posting. A fact I like to ramble on about here, on Twitter, and pretty much any soapbox I can find.

So why is Ryan here with a guest post? One, I’m a man of contradictions. Two, Ryan is the real deal. Three, Ryan has experienced first-hand a lot of the things we’ve discussed in past blog posts. And, four, this shit is well-written and just plain ol’ funny.

Please, everyone, give Ryan a warm welcome…

It’s said that 50% of small businesses fail within the first 5 years. Just last month, I became part of that statistic. Where you could once see a flourishing blog design business that was experiencing rapid growth and was actually making money in it’s second year, you now see a farewell letter from the owner (myself) with an Emo sentiment.

It’s a crying shame, right? Or is it?

You see, the interesting part about my business failing wasn’t that it failed – that’s obviously pretty common – but why it failed. Like I said, I was making money. I wasn’t just generating revenue, I was in the black. In fact, I was pretty comfortably in the black. I had reached that crossroads that so many entrepreneurs face.

“If I did this full time, I could support my family, without a boss, and do things on my own terms. I could make the rules and I could also make more money than I ever have. Give me five years and Jay-Z will be asking me for a loan.”

This was the thought that occupied my mind on so many sleepless nights. On …

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Posted in Business Essentials | 18 Comments

How Writing Advice is Killing Your Writing, Part 2 – Personality

| Published 5 October, 2011 | 5 Comments

The internet is gigantic. There are billions and billions of pages of content, and the majority of them suck huge donkey anus in a bad bad way. So, tell me honestly, what do you think you’ll get if you add to it twenty more pages of polite, dry, stilted, boring corporate bullshit web copy?

And that’s how we’ll kick off Part 2 of our series on writing. (If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, make sure you do at some point. It’s a good’n.)

This week we’re going to look at the kind of bad writing advice that makes me grind my teeth at night and run into stationary objects with my head:

“Use personality in your writing, but only sparingly.”

Ugh. Right?

This is sort of like telling the beginning driver to always keep their hands at 10 and 2 o’clock on the steering wheel. It’s workable advice until they need to turn a sharp corner, at which point both of their arms snap off at the elbows.

Worrying about your personality when you’re sitting down to write will do nothing but haunt you with a noxious introverting residue. Why? Because the emphasis is all wrong. Let’s sort that out first.

What you say comes before how you say it

Personality isn’t the target or end product of writing.

The end product of writing is to convey a written message.

Sounds simple, because it is.

Any writing project, whether fiction, non-fiction or some corporate website copy, starts with something to communicate. There is a core message first and foremost.

Examples of core messages:

  • The history of how your company was formed (business)
  • A sex scene that takes place inside an Army tank (fiction)
  • The technical specifications of industrial fan #647A-U (technical)
  • What you think about cats (personal experience)
  • How you …
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Posted in Business Essentials | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

How simplifying your website will increase conversions and make you more money

| Published 22 September, 2011 | 4 Comments

Your website is basically a machine. A tool designed to perform some function.

Some machines are simple, like a lever or the wedge that keeps your door open.

Some machines are complex, like the space shuttle.

Most websites are too complex and have too many pieces.

Simplify.

You don’t need 89 images and links and ads in your sidebar. Your visitors don’t know what to do with all that clutter and they get confused.

Confusion leads to no action. No action means no clicks, no sign-ups, no sales, no new subscribers.

Overall, that means no conversion.

You might have a very popular site and get a ton of visitors. If you’re in that category and are still victimized by low sales, slow subscriber growth, etc., your problem is in conversion.

If 1000 people come to your site and get confused all to Hell and back again, they might not perform the way you’re hoping.

But if your site is easy, streamlined, and options for your visitor are limited to the items of interest, your site pages are going to convert better.

Simplify.

Look, I’m no dummy. Well, maybe I am. And certainly some of your visitors are. But I know for a fact that if I like your site, I’ll find a way to subscribe. If I want what you’re selling, I’ll find a way to buy it.

But – and this is a big but – some people are going to give up much sooner than that. Some people will really really want to buy what you’re selling. But what if they can’t find it? Or what if you hit them in a cranky mood when they don’t feel like going through the 80-step registration process?

They’ll go elsewhere. Keep your visitors focused and make it easy for …

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Posted in Getting Traffic | Tagged , , | 4 Comments