What to do when fear starts calling the shots

I used to hate public speaking.

By “hate” I mean that, given the choice between public speaking and being boiled in molten lava, I’d pick public speaking but only because I don’t have access to lava.

I mean, I’ve called in sick to work to avoid giving presentations. I even turned down a lucrative promotion because weekly presentations would have been part of the job. Awesome. Well done, me.

This is a perfect example of what we talked about last week: “Look Over There!” Syndrome and why you’re NOT getting things done.

Translate this fear of public speaking into areas of your own life and what do you have? Fear of writing, fear of starting a business, fear of appearing average, fear of coming across as an arrogant prick, fear of getting dumped, fear of on and on and on.

These fears have many symptoms, but really I only care about one of them because in that symptom is also the cure.

What If Nike’s motto had been “Just Do It Something Else”?

What do you do about fear? The popular school of thought suggests writing down your fears so you can face them. “List them all out,” says the adviser, “ten at a time or by the hundreds, then pick them apart and dismantle them and you’ll be good to go.”

I have no doubt that this method works for some people. But I think I have a method that works even better, saves time and gets you from Point A to Point B much faster.

My big secret as it relates to “finding and facing your fears” is as follows:

In the light of your goals, when weighed against your hopes and dreams and aspirations, fear should factor in as nothing more than a speed bump.

The whole concept of finding your fears so you can face them seems to me to be a diversion. Looking “over there” so you can find out why you can’t do what’s right here is a diversion.

I’m not saying fear doesn’t exist, nor am I saying I don’t get afraid. Fear is quite real to me and I feel it just like the next guy. What I am saying is that in the light of your goals, when weighed against your hopes and dreams and aspirations, fear should factor in as nothing more than a speed bump.

Why?

Because a list of fears really only tells you something you already knew: you’re afraid of stuff.

Don’t believe me? Go ahead then and make a list of all your fears, and make it as long as you can. Problem with doing that is when you’ve finally exhausted that bottomless morass of second-guessing your omnipotent self, you still won’t have written a book. Or started that business or whatever. And the longer your list of fears, the longer you’re putting off doing the stuff that counts.

What if you just considered fear was a minor inconvenience?

So far, this is a lot of empty talk and I’m probably coming across as Mr. Crazy. I mean, there’s no way getting into massive, fast, agile, extroverting production is going get you anywhere. Impossible!

So, let’s look at some real life examples of absolutely crazy people in action and see what we can find out:

Case Study #1 : Showing Your Face on Video

My buddy Charlie Gilkey was afraid of recording a video of himself playing guitar and posting it on his site. Yet he wanted to, and he’d promised it to his blog visitors.

In achieving this goal of producing a video Charlie had many many options:

Record and post a video of himself playing guitar, tuck tail and run, debate recording a video, practice for 8 more years, take a video mastering class, hire a consultant, get therapy, get awfully curious about how YouTube works, wonder why he was afraid, not play because he was afraid, etc.

But Charlie is a smart guy. He took the first option and recorded and posted a video of himself playing guitar. Done. Goal achieved. Afraid or not, he did it.

Maybe fear played a part…but it was a minor role.

Case Study #2 : Writing That Book

Stephen King used to write a lot. He writes a lot now, but he used to too. (Credit to Mitch Hedberg for that one). Stephen’s career could have been much much different.

See, the book that started his career almost didn’t see the light of day because it was too busy being in the garbage.

That’s right. Stephen was working on a book and just tossed it out. Why? He was afraid. The book was about a girl, and being a man, Stephen figured he had no place writing such a tale. Nor was he menstruating, while his character was, so he figured he had no place writing about that either. And and and.

Lucky for him, his wife pulled the unfinished manuscript out of the trash, read it, thought it was good and told him to finish it. He did and it went on to be published under the title Carrie. It was his first major sale and earned him hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Again…fear obviously played a part, but it was just a background character.

Case Study #3 : Step Up to the Mic

To get over my own fear of public speaking, guess what I did?

Step 1: I read books and books and books about skillful presenting, slowly getting overwhelmed by all the new information. Yeah. That didn’t work so hot because I wasn’t even up to a point where “skillful presenting” was any sort of worry. No, I was worried about dropping dead from fright and vomiting on my own shoes.

Step 2: I tried to think of all the times when I’d done a lousy job of public speaking in the past, hoping somehow that it would be cathartic. Didn’t work. In fact, this seemed to bolster the idea that I just “wasn’t built for it.” Not to mention it made it painfully obvious that, having screwed up many times in the past, there was no reason why I wouldn’t screw up again. Great. Making lists of why you’re not so hot strikes me as a crap idea.

Step 3: I watched a bunch of pros give presentations in YouTube videos. These were real-life examples of how it should be done, I figured, and it would be like mentoring. Seth Godin, Ze Frank, Chris Guillebeau…they were my guides. Yup, didn’t work. These guys were “too good,” and obviously “had skills I don’t have,” and “must have just been naturals at it.”

Step 4: I got tired of being afraid. I got tired of worrying about public speaking and never actually doing it. So I spoke in public. I started with a small group and worked my way up. At first it was a nightmare, I won’t deny it. It was frightening. And I screwed up. And I was embarrassed. Cool thing is, I didn’t even die or lose a limb. This technique, as you might imagine, worked like a charm.

You’re better than you think

If your fear is anything like mine, it feels like a giant semi-truck driving through your head and chest, exploding on impact and spilling out a cascade of vitriolic acid which then catches on fire, while people point and laugh at you and post the whole mishap on YouTube where it subsequently gets seven million hits and thousands of scathing comments about you and your family.

Yeah. That’s fear. I get it.

But, so what?

I mean…do you know who you are? You’re amazing, that’s who. I know we live in a quick-fix, pill-popping, microwave dinner culture (some of us). And I know that spending painful hours at honing your craft or confronting things you’d rather not is…well…painful. But what else are you going to do?

You’ve got a craft to practice and a book to write, don’t you? So get on it. Tripping over the daisies to find the reasons you’re NOT doing your stuff just leads to not doing more stuff.

You can do it. Just like I did, and I’m nothing special. I just couldn’t fool myself any longer.

So sit down, do what you’re doing and confront what you’re doing. Get on it. Before long you’ll hit “the zone” and start rocking your shit. Yeah, maybe you’ll still be afraid and maybe not. But even if you are, at least you’re being afraid and productive. You’ll be in that awesome place of “Holy shit I’m doing it, but I’m afraid, but look, Ma, I’M ACTUALLY DOING IT!”

Fear is no substitute for action, and it only stops those who let it. Don’t be one of them.

Go do your thing, do it fast, do it proud.

And never slow down for those speed bumps.