This is a guest post by Ryan Sullivan of No More Bacon. Now, if you know me, you know I’m not a fan of guest posting. A fact I like to ramble on about here, on Twitter, and pretty much any soapbox I can find.
So why is Ryan here with a guest post? One, I’m a man of contradictions. Two, Ryan is the real deal. Three, Ryan has experienced first-hand a lot of the things we’ve discussed in past blog posts. And, four, this shit is well-written and just plain ol’ funny.
Please, everyone, give Ryan a warm welcome…
It’s said that 50% of small businesses fail within the first 5 years. Just last month, I became part of that statistic. Where you could once see a flourishing blog design business that was experiencing rapid growth and was actually making money in it’s second year, you now see a farewell letter from the owner (myself) with an Emo sentiment.
It’s a crying shame, right? Or is it?
You see, the interesting part about my business failing wasn’t that it failed – that’s obviously pretty common – but why it failed. Like I said, I was making money. I wasn’t just generating revenue, I was in the black. In fact, I was pretty comfortably in the black. I had reached that crossroads that so many entrepreneurs face.
“If I did this full time, I could support my family, without a boss, and do things on my own terms. I could make the rules and I could also make more money than I ever have. Give me five years and Jay-Z will be asking me for a loan.”
This was the thought that occupied my mind on so many sleepless nights. On one hand, I could smell the freedom. On the other hand, I started to feel trapped.
A Rude Awakening
After another one of the sleepless, excitement-filled nights, I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror. Lindsay Lohan after a three night Vegas bender would have said I looked like crap.
I was stressed beyond belief. My eyes were sunken. I had put on weight and as I stood there I realized that I hadn’t put my boys to bed in over a week because of how late I had been working. Every alert from my phone raised my anxiety level. Even the dirty emails from my dad that almost made me chuckle were instantly deleted without even a preview. It was almost like I had forgotten how to enjoy life completely.
At first I wanted to blame my sorry state on poor time management skills, the Iraq War, or those clever Taco Bell commercials, but I knew better. Granted, there were things I could have done more efficiently. We can always do things more efficiently. However, in my heart of hearts I knew that I was growing to hate what I once loved.
I Dropped the Bomb
For the next 30 days I evaluated where I was at with my business. I was considering closing the doors, but that decision was ridiculously hard to make for a number of reasons.
- The money I was making was awesome – It’s really hard to turn work down as an entrepreneur because you’re never 100% certain where the next gig is going to come from. Put the fact that your family is benefiting in a really big way from your endeavors, and cutting off that income stream becomes even harder.
- I made great friends – I had worked with a number of bloggers and had developed great relationships with them. I had become their go-to guy for all things tech-related. It was nice to have people depending on me and most of those people had come to reciprocate their gratitude in a big way. I never spent a marketing dollar but had referrals coming in nearly every day. I felt like pulling the plug on the business would leave them feeling abandoned or betrayed.
- I’m terrible at saying “no” – I had this weird fear of people hating me if I told them I wasn’t doing any type of design work anymore. I’ve always been a people pleaser and my business life was no exception. I didn’t know how I was going to tell people that I wasn’t going to be able to help them out. Protip: I’ve since found that simply saying “I can’t help you out” works pretty well.
After the 30 days were up, I took a nuclear approach to closing the doors of my business. I put up a landing page where my website had been and that was the end. I finished up projects for current clients and then I was out for good. I don’t know that I’d recommend the same approach for another business owner on their way out, but it’s what worked for me.
Why did I ultimately decide to shut it down?
I noticed that all of my reasons for not closing the business were motivated by fear and money. Fear is a terrible motivator and can only be effective for so long. Money might help you hold on a little bit longer out of necessity, but you’re probably going to be miserable along the way. I know I was.
What’s Next?
Boy howdy I had a rough time coming to grips with the fact that something I thought I really loved had become a total burden in my life (Did I really just use “boy howdy” in that last sentence?). Not to say that I hate design and development now. I don’t at all. I just didn’t love it in that particular context.
The good news is that my entrepreneurial spirit is still strong. Don’t think for a minute that I left my business without a plan for something else fun.
I’m happier now. I may not be taking baths in stacks of money, but who wants to take money bath anyway? I mean, have you seen where that stuff’s been? It’s good to say that I’m exercising more. I’m writing more. I’m working on some more of my personal projects and last but definitely not least, I’m spending more time with my wife and boys.
It may take guts to change direction in your business, or even let it fail, but if the end result means you’re a better version of yourself, take The Beatles advice, and just “let it be.”
18 Comments
This is a great lesson, Ryan. I especially liked the part about not being motivated by money and/or fear.
Seems money (desire for) starts a lot of businesses, but is also guilty of making them continue past their primes. Thanks for the reminder!
It’s good to see your stuff here, too. I”m surprised Charlie allowed it
Hey Cindy,
Thanks for the comment. I still don’t know if Charlie should have allowed my post but I’m glad he did
Great point about the desire for money starting a lot of businesses. It would be interesting to see how many stay strong when that’s their motivation for getting up and going. I’d be willing to bet it’s not too high…
Thanks again for your thoughts!
Often we take something we love as a hobby and wish to turn it into a business. It’s fun. We know the stuff. Why not make the big money from it?
When that happens, more often than not, the joy in the work disappears. Way too often the money doesn’t come in – you were lucky in that regard. But hobby and business are two very different things. Good for you for knowing that it wasn’t a great fit for you. Good luck in finding the next adventure.
Thanks Deb! You make a great point about hobby vs. business. I’m looking forward to the next chapter
I’m so happy you are a better you and that I (the wife) and boys get to see you more.
As for the money bath, I didn’t know you were doing that…do you know where that stuffs been?
I should probably get tested, shouldn’t I?
Happy for you!!! though I will admit I stupidly waited (obviously too long) to have you do a makeover of my blog…had you bookmarked too, just never got to it
as one who’s owned a variety of businesses over the years and sold one (didn’t just shut it down since I had over 200 consultants who worked for me) I sold it though and everyone thought (and some still do think) that I was nuts. I was making money but in an industry I hated (makeup! I never even wore makeup! Yet I owned a successful mineral makeup company! how ironic). I don’t regret selling it at all…now I’m ‘free’ to be ME and not stress over women calling me asking what shade of blush they should wear?!
So, here’s to enjoying life and hey who wants to bathe in money anyhow…you never know where all it’s been!
Awesome story, Tara! Thanks for posting that.
It’s funny how complicated some of this work/life balance seems on the surface. But so much of it comes down to utter simplicities like: I hate what I do. I quit the “amazing corporate job that everyone wants” for the same reason: I showed up to work one day and couldn’t get out of the car. And that was it.
Congrats to you for the change.
congrats to you Charlie for not getting outta your car!
my goals have definitely changed…now my life ambition is once my teen graduates/decides what she’s doing after high school, I’m packing it up and getting a VW Vanagon, traveling the states and will make money teaching yoga or something while on road and enjoy traveling for a year or so…I was never materialistic and am ok ‘surviving’..would rather experience life and make memories than to have ‘things’ (of course this usually doesn’t go over well w/parents who are college professor & CPA, but hey I’ve always been black sheep anyhow)
I love the story too Tara! I totally empathize with the “people think your’e crazy” part. I have a close friend who I’ve worked with on a variety of projects tell me I was an idiot to my face. We go way back so I really had to listen when he said that. Even still, I knew I made the right decision.
(Not that people didn’t think I was crazy before I closed my business
Well crap! I was contemplating getting a quote from you for a re-design of my blog. As much of a bummer that is for me, I’m glad to hear that you’re happier now – money is definitely not the right reason to do things, even things you’re talented at. Enjoy your time with your family, after all they truly are the most important things in life.
LOL you and I both were too late!
I’m bummed I didn’t get to work with you two! It would have been awesome! That said, I’ll tell you that Charlie is an amazing designer so if you’re looking for an alternative hit him up! I’m sure it might feel awkward for him to say that here, but I’ve seen his work on numerous sites and DANG. The dude does some amazing stuff.
He can work and I’ll enjoy a little down time
As one of those people who has come to rely on you for tech and blogging help, I’m both sad for people who didn’t get the chance to work with you, and happy that you get to reclaim happiness.
I’m going through a bit of this, too, as I evaluate what about my blog business makes me happy, what doesn’t, and what my goals are. While I’m sorry to see you stressed out, I’m proud of you for making the right choice for yourself and for your growing family.
Amazing post. It takes a big man to do the right things for the right reasons. I have a feeling you are going to do well in all your future endeavors. Go you!!!
I was fortunate enough to have worked with you on a minor project before you closed. When I first saw the tweet about the closure, I admit I was confused. I couldn’t figure out why someone who is clearly both talented and savvy would shut down what appeared to be a growing business. You certainly didn’t owe anyone an explanation, but this was a good read. I am sincerely happy for you and wish you the best wherever life may take you.
bummed that i missed the boat about getting redesign help, but totally understand the reasons! makes me wonder, though, how to be successfull and not let your business take over your life… or maybe it lies in the venture, hobby vs. business…
I read this when I first saw it over at Carla’s FB page. I wrote this big long comment that got lost in cyberspace…
Honestly, it is hard. My hubby has worked for himself for as long as he has worked but with the crash & all that has happened the past few years, it is hard to keep going. BUT in this world, they want degrees & large company experience & a lot more & not people that are close to 60.. it is tough to walk away when there are few choices….. I am not saying it can’t be done BUT it is hard…..
Lots to think about…. Thx Ryan for sharing!