Networking makes a lot of people feel dirty and arrogant. That’s because most people network like they are dirty and arrogant.

Which isn’t to say you actually are dirty and arrogant, but rather that your technique could use some polishing. Or maybe you really are dirty and arrogant. In which case using great marketing techniques won’t really work because then you’ll just look like a dirty arrogant person who has tricks up his sleeve, thereby making you dirty, arrogant and devious.

See, old-school networking (the kind we’re used to) is all about “me.” You know what I mean because you’ve been there. Might have been at a high-school reunion, or after a business meeting with colleagues or after some big-time finance seminar. Some dude with a nice suit and disgustingly perfect hairdo came up to you and let you know all about how awesome he was:

“I’m a marketer for a multi-national company. I win awards for the work I do. I’ve been thinking of moving on and starting my third billion-dollar company, but frankly my firm couldn’t get along without me. Oh…and I can eat an entire poppy seed muffin and not a single seed gets stuck in my teeth. That’s how slick and awesome I am.”

Or the used-car salesman attitude: “I’m the best salesman in the area. I got a plaque last year. Yeah, and check out my tie. I won it. It was made from the skin of a rare bird that is now extinct. Thirteen children died while stitching this tie together, but, you know, it’s cool because I get it dry-cleaned.”

This isn’t networking. This is acting like a human resume and hoping for the best.

Networking, by definition, means expanding and growing your empire into new areas through the means of new people.

If people want nothing to do with you, mmm, your network hasn’t grown. Nope.

So what is the trick of networking?

The whole secret of networking comes down to a single three-letter word:

You.

Meaning the opposite of “me.”

Networking, much like marketing, is best done when you’re showing the other guy what’s in it for him. The line into poor networking is crossed when the focus shifts to the person standing in your shoes. And unless they’ve been stolen or you’re awfully confused, the person standing in your shoes is you.

Don’t talk about yourself. Talk about them, at least indirectly.

It’s not always the easiest thing to do. When someone asks you what you do for a living, it’s pretty hard to NOT talk about yourself. The secret is to go right on ahead talking about yourself or your company or your product, but do it in such a way that you’re talking benefits and not just tooting your own horn.

Examples of effective networking

People aren’t always going to ask you what you do, but you may find yourself drifting into answering it anyway and doing a lousy job of it. Having a good answer for the question is a great way to cover your bases and come up with a suitable elevator-pitch.

How to answer the “What do you do” question.

Wrong: “I work at a consulting firm.” Wow. How interesting.

Right: “I consult people who aren’t quite sure what they want to do in life.” Instant rapport with anyone who isn’t quite sure what they want to do in life.

Wrong: “I’m in marketing.” Sorry…I just went into a coma. What did you say?

Right: “I’m in marketing and show individuals how to get more clients, regardless of the type of business they’re in.” More clients = more money = universal interest.

Wrong: “I’m in HR.” Sounds awful. You tell me you’re in HR and I immediately think you’re the person who fires every person in the universe.

Right: “I place creative individuals into high-paying creative jobs that fit their style.” Hey, I’m creative. Tell me more!

Get it?

Two birds, one stone

There are numerous benefits to networking and marketing like this:

1. You cease to look like a total prick. Which is good news, especially for total pricks.
2. People love to hear about themselves and they love to hear what’s in it for them. So you’ll have rapt attention when you say stuff.
3. It is an automatic weeding-out process. If you tell a lumberjack that you’re in creative hiring, like our example above, he’s not going to be too interested and the conversation will rightfully suffer a quick death. But if you tell a graphic designer the same thing, they get interested and now become a targeted customer. Give them a business card or brochure and you’re that much closer to earning new business. This would never have happened if you just said, “I’m in HR.” Yawn.

There are millions of dollars waiting for you in this post, if you do it right. The next post I write will also be bringing home the bacon, unless I think of something entirely different. Which is likely. Subscribe now and you won’t might not be sorry.

Disclaimer: The next sentence contains the “f” word.
This post is fucking brilliant.

There is a gigantic and almost universal mistake being made by salesmen, website owners, bloggers, ad men, affiliate marketers and probably even vegetables and fish. It’s going on right now in the world of business.

Here’s a little scenario. At the end of it is a question which you should answer as honestly as possible because it highlights this common confusion.

Scenario: You’re a coffee salesman and you sell the best coffee ever. Gandhi himself drinks urns of it, and even the Anti-Coffee Coalition gave you a testimonial that reads, “Coffee is the fruit of Satan’s loins, but damn this is good stuff!”

Now, there’s a dude named Biff. He looooves coffee. He lives on the other side of the world from you, has never heard of you, doesn’t know you have a website, doesn’t know you sell coffee, doesn’t know your phone number and doesn’t care because he gets his coffee fix from the cafe down the street.

Now here’s the question:

Is Biff your potential customer?

Most people say, “Yes. If he’s a coffee lover and I sell coffee, he’s my potential customer.”

Sorry, he’s not. That sale is never going to happen. Not in a billion years. How is Biff going to become your customer if he doesn’t even know you exist?

And don’t be pulling this, “Well, you said potential customer,” stuff.

Yeah, I guess if we kidnapped Biff, got him hooked on crack then took it away, threatened his children, blew up his house and slowly plucked out his eyelashes, he might potentially buy our coffee if we asked him nicely. K, yeah, sure. By those methods everyone in the universe is a potential customer.

But let’s be realistic. If you can’t reach people, they’re not going to be customers. It is an impossibility.

Here’s another scenario. Joe hates hates hates the color red. Somehow, while doing “important market research” online during work hours, he finds himself on your site: WeOnlySellRedStuff.com.

Is Joe a potential customer? I mean…he’s right there looking at your site, so he must be, right?

Nope. Joe’s not in the market for anything red, nor are his friends and family. So he’s not going to buy from you. Not ever.

Here’s the thing about potential customers, and pay attention because this can make you a trillion dollars and is so brilliant I wish I’d just thought of it:

A potential customer is already a partially-targeted individual. He wants your product. He just hasn’t bought it yet.

And the even more money-earning and brilliant corollary law to this is:

If you’ve truly got a potential customer, hold on to him for all you’re worth because this is where the money is.

What a potential customer REALLY looks like

Example: If Dave is in your store gazing intently at your lingerie, feeling fabrics, holding bras ad panties up to himself in the mirror and saying, “Oh yeah, that’s so me,” he’s a real potential customer.

Example: If some dude comes to your blog every week, comments on your wares/posts/whatever and seems genuinely interested, he’s a potential customer.

Example: If some dude says to you, “I’ve been looking for a replacement widget for this shit widget I’ve been using, and yours seems to be about right,” don’t let him leave without buying. He’s a real potential customer.

Example: If anyone ever says anything even slightly remotely similar to, “I’ve been searching for a good gun/wife/meal/recipe/ostrich/acne remover/arsonist or serial killer,” you’re looking at a real potential customer. Sell him shit. Immediately.

Get it? Forget about the guys around the world who need to be tapped on the shoulder 16 times at your expense before they realize you’re there. Concentrate on the real and interested people right in front of you.

Promote : to help or encourage to exist or flourish

When you think of promotion do you automatically start thinking about advertising, posters or banner ads? Perhaps you think of sending out 1,000 pieces of direct mail or physically knocking on doors. Or maybe that hairy naked dude who stands on the street corner downtown talking religion.

Those things are promotion in a sense, yes, but that’s also sort of a shallow view of it and lacks an incredibly important element. And this element, let me tell you, can make you sick amounts of money and teach you that promotion can be done anywhere and always. Actually, scratch that “can”. You ARE engaged in promoting always and everywhere.

Promotion is making something known AND well thought of.

People tend to think promotion is just getting the word out, but is not enough. The word has to be acting to your benefit.

Promotion has to further your cause, not just garner attention. Any freak can get in the newspaper, but not every freak is doing real promotion.

Lest this is coming across as cryptic, let me give you a silly example.

If you put out 1,500 direct mail pieces that look horrible, contain misspellings, have the wrong contact info and a picture of people bowing down before Hitler, you HAVEN’T DONE ANY PROMOTION. You’ve missed 50% (probably more, actually) of the promotion formula: the appear respectable part.

Real-world examples of poor promotion

Remember, by our definition, promotion is to make known and respected in people’s eyes.

Here’s how real people and real business are doing it wrong right now:

• The customer service representative who answers the phone by saying, “WHAT?!”
• The IT support lady who, 3 seconds into the call, cracked jokes about my last name (Pabst) and asked me if I get all the free beer I want. Being personal is fine. Being chit-chatty on my dime is not. And shit, if you’re gonna joke with me, you better not pick the most obvious and uncreative path.
• InMotion Hosting, who has been shutting down client websites with hardly an explanation. And when asked to provide solutions, they don’t really have any. When a host offers no solution for their own shortcomings, of course the best solution becomes: switch hosts. Obviously not promotion. You listening, IMH?
• Any website with more ads than content.
• The bus-driver who let’s the bus continue to roll as passengers get off.
• The barista who doesn’t ask what I’d like, but just lifts her eyebrows.
• Anyone ever who doesn’t smile.
• The guy who sold me my car and picked at his fingernails nearly the entire time.
• The gym where I work out that has the fucking heater on right above the free-weights.
• Airplane food.
• My buddy. I love you, dude, but when you have Skype, text messaging, two cell phones and email, there’s no reason why I should have zero confidence in getting in touch with you. Also explains the loss of a five-figure project as well as the impending litigation on another. You. Need. To. Communicate.
• The dude, who SERIOUSLY, right this fucking second, is being patted down by the cops outside the coffee shop…one sec. K, I’m back. Wow. That was entertaining. They’re letting him go now, but they apparently thought he robbed the bank across the street. Thing is, he looks like a bank robber. Shabby and sneaky, hiding under a hat, fat coat and facial hair. Hmm…he’s not promoting the right thing, is he?

Bottom line, you may be getting attention and “doing your job,” but if you’re not furthering your cause, you’re not promoting.

People and companies doing a great job of promotion

• Washington Mutual bank, who dropped $80 of overdraft charges as a result of my own idiocy. Their reason for helping me? I’ve been a great customer for 16 years.
• Bluehost (aff). As a hosting company they kick total ass. Always pick up the phone. Always have a solution to offer for any problems.
• Ron Paul, the badass politician and epitome of integrity who fights tooth and nail so that the US Constitution doesn’t go (more) away, even though his cohorts and the media do their best to ignore him.
• The IT dude who says, “I can help you with that.”
• The pizza parlor that says, “It’ll actually be cheaper if you get another pizza.”
• Macintosh salesmen. They don’t talk about gigs and megs and hertz and backside quad inverters over the flux capacitor with the negative database restructuring. They simply show me what the computer does and does well.
• The barista who says with a smile, “What can I getcha?”
• The girl sitting next to me who smells fantastic.
• The guy I often pass on the sidewalk who looks me in the eye and says, “Hello.”

If someone likes you, wants to approach you, wants to do business with you…you’ve promoted. And as you can see, it sure doesn’t take much effort or invention.

How promotion can you make you sick amounts of money

When I first started my graphic design business I didn’t do any traditional online promoting. None at all. And by traditional I mean banner ads, sidebar ads, AdWords, etc. A lot of folks pour money into these traditional methods and are disappointed in the results.

Well, I just didn’t have the cash for buying online advertising real estate, and, being a new business owner I didn’t want to spend a single dime that I might need if times got lean.

So the sum total of promotional activities that I engaged in was: talking to people.

In my first week of business, I landed a large percentage of the projects I tried to get. While that’s great, it’s not even the interesting part. The amazing thing is that when I asked clients why they’d hired me (you do do this, don’t you?) I got one answer more than any others.

It wasn’t my strong portfolio (I didn’t really have one).

It wasn’t my fancy website (at the time it was fairly average).

It wasn’t my ads (I didn’t have any).

It wasn’t my reputation (I was brand new and unknown).

It wasn’t my testimonials from past clients (I’d never had a client).

The reason I got every single job that week was that I communicated better than the other bidders. I had numerous compliments that first week on my speed of email responses, the fact that I’d respond even if I was out on the town and even that I let my personality shine through in my emails.

I had one client say something extraordinary to me, and this has ever since been in the back of my mind as a rock-solid truth. She said, “I wasn’t looking for the best or the cheapest. I just needed someone to be there and do it. Thank you thank you thank you for always writing me back.”

So here I was afraid I wasn’t doing any promotion, thinking I was going to fail and starve to death. But I was actually doing some of the best promotion I could have done. Promotion, by the way, that was WAY better and said WAY more about me than any advertisement could have. I was simply communicating well and making my services well thought of.

That is promotion. Getting the word out and ensuring it’s making you look good.

While all these little things, like smiling and answering the phone with manners, add up to promotion, the real magic lies in getting the word out in huge numbers and getting massive amounts of people to believe. There is no limit to the creative means of getting the word out and promoting yourself. On that, much more to come later.

In the meantime, what can you do to get your word out? And perhaps more importantly, what can you do to make yourself well thought of?

Need help? Ask me what you can do for your own promotion and marketing?