I used to hate public speaking.

By “hate” I mean that, given the choice between public speaking and being boiled in molten lava, I’d pick public speaking but only because I don’t have access to lava.

I mean, I’ve called in sick to work to avoid giving presentations. I even turned down a lucrative promotion because weekly presentations would have been part of the job. Awesome. Well done, me.

This is a perfect example of what we talked about last week: “Look Over There!” Syndrome and why you’re NOT getting things done.

Translate this fear of public speaking into areas of your own life and what do you have? Fear of writing, fear of starting a business, fear of appearing average, fear of coming across as an arrogant prick, fear of getting dumped, fear of on and on and on.

These fears have many symptoms, but really I only care about one of them because in that symptom is also the cure.

What If Nike’s motto had been “Just Do It Something Else”?

What do you do about fear? The popular school of thought suggests writing down your fears so you can face them. “List them all out,” says the adviser, “ten at a time or by the hundreds, then pick them apart and dismantle them and you’ll be good to go.”

I have no doubt that this method works for some people. But I think I have a method that works even better, saves time and gets you from Point A to Point B much faster.

My big secret as it relates to “finding and facing your fears” is as follows:

In the light of your goals, when weighed against your hopes and dreams and aspirations, fear should factor in as nothing more than a speed bump.

The whole concept of finding your fears so you can face them seems to me to be a diversion. Looking “over there” so you can find out why you can’t do what’s right here is a diversion.

I’m not saying fear doesn’t exist, nor am I saying I don’t get afraid. Fear is quite real to me and I feel it just like the next guy. What I am saying is that in the light of your goals, when weighed against your hopes and dreams and aspirations, fear should factor in as nothing more than a speed bump.

Why?

Because a list of fears really only tells you something you already knew: you’re afraid of stuff.

Don’t believe me? Go ahead then and make a list of all your fears, and make it as long as you can. Problem with doing that is when you’ve finally exhausted that bottomless morass of second-guessing your omnipotent self, you still won’t have written a book. Or started that business or whatever. And the longer your list of fears, the longer you’re putting off doing the stuff that counts.

What if you just considered fear was a minor inconvenience?

So far, this is a lot of empty talk and I’m probably coming across as Mr. Crazy. I mean, there’s no way getting into massive, fast, agile, extroverting production is going get you anywhere. Impossible!

So, let’s look at some real life examples of absolutely crazy people in action and see what we can find out:

Case Study #1 : Showing Your Face on Video

My buddy Charlie Gilkey was afraid of recording a video of himself playing guitar and posting it on his site. Yet he wanted to, and he’d promised it to his blog visitors.

In achieving this goal of producing a video Charlie had many many options:

Record and post a video of himself playing guitar, tuck tail and run, debate recording a video, practice for 8 more years, take a video mastering class, hire a consultant, get therapy, get awfully curious about how YouTube works, wonder why he was afraid, not play because he was afraid, etc.

But Charlie is a smart guy. He took the first option and recorded and posted a video of himself playing guitar. Done. Goal achieved. Afraid or not, he did it.

Maybe fear played a part…but it was a minor role.

Case Study #2 : Writing That Book

Stephen King used to write a lot. He writes a lot now, but he used to too. (Credit to Mitch Hedberg for that one). Stephen’s career could have been much much different.

See, the book that started his career almost didn’t see the light of day because it was too busy being in the garbage.

That’s right. Stephen was working on a book and just tossed it out. Why? He was afraid. The book was about a girl, and being a man, Stephen figured he had no place writing such a tale. Nor was he menstruating, while his character was, so he figured he had no place writing about that either. And and and.

Lucky for him, his wife pulled the unfinished manuscript out of the trash, read it, thought it was good and told him to finish it. He did and it went on to be published under the title Carrie. It was his first major sale and earned him hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Again…fear obviously played a part, but it was just a background character.

Case Study #3 : Step Up to the Mic

To get over my own fear of public speaking, guess what I did?

Step 1: I read books and books and books about skillful presenting, slowly getting overwhelmed by all the new information. Yeah. That didn’t work so hot because I wasn’t even up to a point where “skillful presenting” was any sort of worry. No, I was worried about dropping dead from fright and vomiting on my own shoes.

Step 2: I tried to think of all the times when I’d done a lousy job of public speaking in the past, hoping somehow that it would be cathartic. Didn’t work. In fact, this seemed to bolster the idea that I just “wasn’t built for it.” Not to mention it made it painfully obvious that, having screwed up many times in the past, there was no reason why I wouldn’t screw up again. Great. Making lists of why you’re not so hot strikes me as a crap idea.

Step 3: I watched a bunch of pros give presentations in YouTube videos. These were real-life examples of how it should be done, I figured, and it would be like mentoring. Seth Godin, Ze Frank, Chris Guillebeau…they were my guides. Yup, didn’t work. These guys were “too good,” and obviously “had skills I don’t have,” and “must have just been naturals at it.”

Step 4: I got tired of being afraid. I got tired of worrying about public speaking and never actually doing it. So I spoke in public. I started with a small group and worked my way up. At first it was a nightmare, I won’t deny it. It was frightening. And I screwed up. And I was embarrassed. Cool thing is, I didn’t even die or lose a limb. This technique, as you might imagine, worked like a charm.

You’re better than you think

If your fear is anything like mine, it feels like a giant semi-truck driving through your head and chest, exploding on impact and spilling out a cascade of vitriolic acid which then catches on fire, while people point and laugh at you and post the whole mishap on YouTube where it subsequently gets seven million hits and thousands of scathing comments about you and your family.

Yeah. That’s fear. I get it.

But, so what?

I mean…do you know who you are? You’re amazing, that’s who. I know we live in a quick-fix, pill-popping, microwave dinner culture (some of us). And I know that spending painful hours at honing your craft or confronting things you’d rather not is…well…painful. But what else are you going to do?

You’ve got a craft to practice and a book to write, don’t you? So get on it. Tripping over the daisies to find the reasons you’re NOT doing your stuff just leads to not doing more stuff.

You can do it. Just like I did, and I’m nothing special. I just couldn’t fool myself any longer.

So sit down, do what you’re doing and confront what you’re doing. Get on it. Before long you’ll hit “the zone” and start rocking your shit. Yeah, maybe you’ll still be afraid and maybe not. But even if you are, at least you’re being afraid and productive. You’ll be in that awesome place of “Holy shit I’m doing it, but I’m afraid, but look, Ma, I’M ACTUALLY DOING IT!”

Fear is no substitute for action, and it only stops those who let it. Don’t be one of them.

Go do your thing, do it fast, do it proud.

And never slow down for those speed bumps.

Okay, well, apparently every month or so I get a wild hair and decide I’m going to offend 99% of the world’s population. Last time, I went on a tear about productivity blogs. This time my foe has grown. Welcome, in the red corner, weighing in at one berzillion pounds, the undefeated Facebook.

Ding! Round 1

I’m starting off the round with a pretty wicked feint. I have to admit I actually think Facebook is pretty amazing. I mean, you can leave messages for your friends, chat with them, find someone to have sex with, send people fake beers, play fake cards, check your fake horoscope and about 80 zillion other mostly not-real things.

Not to mention, you can’t really go complaining too much about something that is just an application. Until it’s put to use, it’s just an inert thing. Like a chainsaw, which is just sort of ho-hum until you saw someone off at the ankles. At which point your family picnic becomes a whole different type of awesome.

So the problem with Facebook is with the people who use Facebook. For everything. All the time.

Instead of living.

Living is awesome.
Pretend living is only pretend awesome.

I think it’s cool that people want to send me a fake beer over Facebook. I’m glad I can refuse to join everyone’s fake mafia group. Or let everyone know that I just became a fan of fake not dying. Or that 84 people just compared me to 84 other people and think that I am without a doubt taller/funnier/likely to fail/smelly/most like William Shatner.

My beef isn’t with the intentions; it’s good to be on your friend’s minds. That’s what makes you friends.

My beef is with the fake. I’d rather meet a real person in real life for a real beer. I’d rather refuse to join a real mafia group in person than refuse to join a fake one online. I’d rather not die in real life than just click a button that says I vote for not dying. I’d rather spend a good half-hour in real conversation looking in someone’s real eyeballs to determine what they think of me than be part of a survey. I’d rather get into a real fight than be challenged to a fake duel online.

I bring this up why? Two reasons:

One. Use your time wisely, and don’t wonder why your income is lousy when 4 hours of your day are devoted to your MySpace and Facebook profiles.

Two. From what I’ve been reading, it seems employers across the nation are starting to look toward Facebook networks as part of their hiring process. A large Facebook network must mean you’ve got friends, clients, customers and know how to do business.

Yeah, but not really. Not at all in fact.

It takes zero effort to make a friend on Facebook. It doesn’t take even a single word of actual conversation. No social graces. No manners. No problem-recognizing or problem-solving ability. No ability to cross the street without getting hit by a taxi. No ability to give a real handshake, not one of those clammy limp ones that afterwards makes you feel like you need to take a bath in Purell.

Nor does a network of zillions mean you’ve ever sold even a single product, had a conversation with a client or stepped out of your parents’ basement in the last decade.

What it probably means is that Iron Maiden fans really tend to stick together.

Or that someone has spent an ungodly amount of time learning to speak Klingon.

The internet is an awesome place for networking, for sure. Absolutely. My entire livelihood is provided by the existence of the internet, so I’m not about to start bashing it.

But don’t make the mistake of substituting a real life with stuff you do online.

And don’t make the mistake of hiring someone with whom you have a conversation like this:

You: “So…tell me. What are your qualifications for this position?”

Facebook Guru: “I have high-score.”

You: “K. Uh. High-score at what?”

Facebook Guru: “High-score on the internet. I win.”

You: “Oh. Wow. I wasn’t aware they were really keeping track of that.”

Facebook Guru: “w00t!”

Instead, maybe hire someone with, you know…skills and stuff.

As a very wise man said to me once (last night), “Crises like these aren’t accidents. Nor are successes. They’re created.”

Businesses are closing doors. Belts are tightening. People are worried.

“Gee, thanks for the happy new year wishes, Charlie. Way to start that one off.”

Okay, wait. It gets better!

Maybe times are tough. And maybe they really are way outside our control, as some might suggest. It’s quite possible that we are all completely and utterly screwed.

But the problem with that mentality, aside from possibly being a big fat lie, is that it isn’t going to do a single thing for you. True or not.

The two most ineffective things you can do in life, and especially true right now:

• Do the same thing old you’ve been doing all along, without change;
• Constrict and contract

“What I’ve been doing is working just fine, thanks.”

Look, if you’re doing the same old thing you always do, things are either gonna abruptly break or slowly die. Businesses and lives run best when they’re expanding, not holding on to the status quo.

When your life and business are moving up and blossoming and booming, it’s much harder for things to come crashing down.

On the other hand, if our businesses and lives have been flatlining and just hanging on, it doesn’t take much to tip the balance against us.

If what you’ve been doing has been working, that’s great. I’m not saying change everything and do something drastic. But strengthen and multiply what’s been working and don’t rest on your laurels. Not ever, but especially not now.

“I’ll just contract and hide and wait for this all to blow over.”

First of all, what if it doesn’t blow over til it’s too late and the damage is irreparable?

And second, why wait? Ever?

Yeah, the economic times are tough right now, but so what? You’re always gonna want more money. You’re always going to want more time to do what you want. Regardless of how the economy and the grand scheme of things is rolling along, you’re gonna want more for yourself than what you currently have. That’s the way we are, us Homo types. We like to succeed, grow, expand our borders and experience abundance.

So the wrong thing to do is sit around and wait for the world to change into some more acceptable model. Or worse yet, to wait for “your time”.

Your time is now. Your time is also tomorrow. Hell, every single day is yours. But you gotta claim it first.

“We don’t believe you. Give us an example.”

I’m not just blowing smoke. K, maybe a little. But there are companies and individuals who are doing better right now than ever before. If our economic woes were too much to handle and beyond our control, this wouldn’t be the case would it? Everyone would be experiencing the travails equally. QED.

Take the direct mail company that was handling the mailings of none other than the behemoth AIG. For obvious reasons, they parted ways with AIG in August, thereby losing their largest and most stable client. That’s bad enough, but to do so in the midst of this terrible economic climate? Surely the death knell, right? Nope. Their profits are now going out the roof. How’d they do it? Well, they refused to lay down and take it, and instead went on a screaming promotional tear.

How about Men with Pens? They run a booming online business. Yes, even now. How do they do it? They deliver a stellar product and started the largest online contest in the history of the universe. Doing stuff like that, you can’t help but garner attention from a widening circle.

How about Charfish Design, my own little design shop? Again, booming. I just had one of my best weeks ever. How? Promotion. Yelling. Telling everybody I know and meet that I’m here. By answering emails at the speed of light and being here as a stable force that refuses to go away.

How about Leo Babauta and Collis Ta’eed? They’re making noise, writing books, putting up insanely brilliant websites.

The bottom line and THE thing all of these scenarios have in common:

THEY REFUSE TO SHRINK. NOT NOW AND NOT YESTERDAY AND NOT TOMORROW.

Grab what’s yours and hold on tight!

Man, you’ve got to stake your claim. You need to imagine the space you want to control and then make it yours.

You want to start dominating your sphere? Well, dammit, you better have an idea of what that sphere is. Then put the fence around it and never ever let it move unless it’s going out further.

“What now?” It’s up to you.

So you’ve got a choice. And while it may seem like a new choice dictated by our crazy times, it’s the same choice you’ve been making since you were a kid:

You can bend over and take what the universe dishes.

Or…you can out-produce, out-create, out-dream and just outright disagree that the apparent way of things is THE ONLY way of things.

This extravagant bit of cheerleading is only the beginning. Next time, I’m putting on my special suit and breaking out the pom-poms. Subscribe now so you don’t miss it!