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	<title>Ignite Living &#187; Making money</title>
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	<description>Tips for Productive, Simple and Happy Living</description>
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		<title>If your consultant is saying this, please fire them</title>
		<link>http://www.igniteliving.com/the-lighter-side/if-your-consultant-is-saying-this-please-fire-them/</link>
		<comments>http://www.igniteliving.com/the-lighter-side/if-your-consultant-is-saying-this-please-fire-them/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:00:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Charlie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Making money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Lighter Side]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[consulting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fire your consultant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mysticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[production]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.igniteliving.com/?p=406</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.igniteliving.com/wp-content/uploads/feastFamine.jpg" alt="" title="feastFamine" width="480" height="269" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-420" /><strong>Overheard on Twitter:</strong> &#8220;I wouldn&#8217;t worry too much about it. Business is feast or famine.&#8221;</p>
<p>Ah yes, the old &#8216;feast or famine&#8217; cliche. Time has certainly given that one the ring of truth, hasn&#8217;t it? But is it actually true?&#8230;</p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.igniteliving.com/wp-content/uploads/feastFamine.jpg" alt="" title="feastFamine" width="480" height="269" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-420" /><strong>Overheard on Twitter:</strong> &#8220;I wouldn&#8217;t worry too much about it. Business is feast or famine.&#8221;</p>
<p>Ah yes, the old &#8216;feast or famine&#8217; cliche. Time has certainly given that one the ring of truth, hasn&#8217;t it? But is it actually true? I mean, if you run a business, where does your love of old cliches cross over into marketing and making money?</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s look at a couple scenarios.</p>
<h2>Doofy McSquirrelynuts, Consultant</h2>
<p><strong>Doofy McSquirrelnuts</strong> is an A-lister consultant. He has 45,938 subscribers to his blog because he&#8217;s mastered the art of writing powerful headlines, getting on Digg and spreading the love. He is active on Twitter and has a lot of fans. He bases his effectiveness not on the success of those he helps, but off his web stats and newsletter sign-ups.</p>
<p>But Doofy McSquirrelnuts cries himself to sleep every night because he feels guilty about things he sometimes tells clients. Things like this:</p>
<p><strong>Doofy:</strong> &#8220;How&#8217;s business?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;Uh, it was going great for a while. But I haven&#8217;t had a new client in weeks. I&#8217;m a little worried.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Doofy:</strong> (Patting Client on the shoulder and nodding sagely) &#8220;Ah, yeah. It&#8217;s feast or famine out there. It&#8217;ll pass.&#8221;</p>
<p>Client crosses his fingers and hopes the mystical famine will soon end. He goes on to have no clients until he starves or generates some new business, whichever comes first.</p>
<p>While that illustrative conversation took place entirely in my imagination, it goes on for real every day on Twitter, popular blogs and even face-to-face.</p>
<h2>How the pros make themselves a feast</h2>
<p>Unlike Doofy, a consultant named Bizz Nissman is a genius and knows what&#8217;s up. While he thinks pouring goat entrails onto his kitchen table is interesting in his leisure time, he prefers to do business by measurable action and not augury.</p>
<p>Bizz Nissman also has a client who&#8217;s not doing so hot. Here&#8217;s how their conversation goes down:<br />
<span id="more-406"></span><br />
<strong>Bizz:</strong> &#8220;How&#8217;s business?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;It was going great for a while. But now I haven&#8217;t had a new client in weeks. Must be feast or famine, right? I mean, that&#8217;s what Doofy said on Twitter.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Bizz:</strong> &#8220;Doofy is an idiot. What did you change?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;What do you mean?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Bizz:</strong> &#8220;You said your business was doing well for a while. If your business is doing worse than it was, you changed something. What was it?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;Nothing.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Bizz:</strong> &#8220;Yes. You did. What was it?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;Nothing, I swear.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Bizz: </strong>&#8220;Did your marketing change? Did you stop advertising somewhere? Did you put out a batch of crap product and get destroyed on the internet?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;It&#8217;s just the economy or something.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Bizz:</strong> (Doing those annoying air quotes with his fingers) &#8220;The &#8216;economy&#8217; is just a fancy word for a whole lot of people trading products for money. WHY aren&#8217;t <em>you</em> trading <em>your</em> products for money? What did you change?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;It&#8217;s not my fault people suck and/or are stupid.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Bizz:</strong> &#8220;True. But it&#8217;s your fault people aren&#8217;t finding or buying your product. What did you change?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;There&#8217;s just too much competition. Yeah, that seems true. I heard that on Twitter also.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Buzz:</strong> &#8220;Then why aren&#8217;t you finding new outlets, changing your pricing or doubling your advertising? What did you change?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> (Thinking about it finally.) &#8220;Uh&#8230;I used to send out 300 emails a week to old and potential clients.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Bizz:</strong> &#8220;Ah! Now we&#8217;re getting somewhere! And how many are you sending now?&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Client:</strong> &#8220;Uh&#8230;zero.&#8221;</p>
<p>Two weeks later, Bizz gets a surprise PayPal payment from the client. It&#8217;s for $2000 and there&#8217;s a brief note attached. It reads only: &#8220;Thank you.&#8221;</p>
<h2>In summation</h2>
<p>If your consultant is doing business by reading bird droppings or sacrificing virgins, at the very least you should ask them to stop doing that. It&#8217;s not nice and virgins don&#8217;t like it. </p>
<p>You dig? Yeah, you dig.</p>
<p>This utter sanity was brought to you today by me. I will bring you more next week. <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/IgniteLiving">Subscribe now</a> or you will not be allowed back here ever again. </p>
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		<title>Industriousness, fat cash and you. Oh, and not being an idiot if you work in payroll.</title>
		<link>http://www.igniteliving.com/productivity/industriousness-fat-cash-and-you-oh-and-not-being-an-idiot-if-you-work-in-payroll/</link>
		<comments>http://www.igniteliving.com/productivity/industriousness-fat-cash-and-you-oh-and-not-being-an-idiot-if-you-work-in-payroll/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:00:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Charlie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Business Practice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Making money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Productivity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.igniteliving.com/?p=249</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><span class="intro">Welcome to part one of <strong>Ignite Living&#8217;s</strong> &#8220;Why You Owe it to Yourself to be an Entrepreneur&#8221; series. In this series we&#8217;re going to explore&#8230;guess what? That&#8217;s right. Why you owe it to yourself to be an entrepreneur.</span></p>
<p><img src="http://www.igniteliving.com/wp-content/uploads/igniteDailyGrind.png" alt="igniteDailyGrind" title="igniteDailyGrind" width="480" height="210" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-255" /></p>
<p><span class="dropcap">W</span>e&#8217;re&#8230;</p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span class="intro">Welcome to part one of <strong>Ignite Living&#8217;s</strong> &#8220;Why You Owe it to Yourself to be an Entrepreneur&#8221; series. In this series we&#8217;re going to explore&#8230;guess what? That&#8217;s right. Why you owe it to yourself to be an entrepreneur.</spa></p>
<p><img src="http://www.igniteliving.com/wp-content/uploads/igniteDailyGrind.png" alt="igniteDailyGrind" title="igniteDailyGrind" width="480" height="210" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-255" /></p>
<p><span class="dropcap">W</span>e&#8217;re gonna start this series off with a subject that&#8217;s very close to our hearts, stomachs and landlords:<strong> money</strong>.</p>
<p>If I were to give my top two reasons for becoming an entrepreneur, the first would be freedom and the second would be money.</p>
<p>Now, how much money you make as an entrepreneur will mostly be in ratio to your industriousness, marketing ability and many other factors, so it wouldn&#8217;t be fully truthful for me to say <strong>all</strong> entrepreneurs make more money.</p>
<p>However, the potential for you to make sick amounts of cash is much higher as an entrepreneur. And I can illustrate this by telling you a real-life story that is entirely not even a lie. About me. In my old corporate job. At a HUGE company that I guarantee you&#8217;ve heard of, from which you&#8217;ve bought stuff and which should have known better.</p>
<h2>Corporate suckiness</h2>
<p>Back when I was in the corporate world, I out-produced my quota by double. I&#8217;m not patting my own back. It&#8217;s just the job was easy and I was antisocial and never once left my desk ever, hence production. After the third year of doing this, I asked for what I thought would be a fitting raise and was given the awesome response of &#8220;no.&#8221;</p>
<p>I wanted to know the reason for that so I asked, &#8220;What&#8217;s the reason for that?&#8221;</p>
<p>My pay, I came to learn, was actually part of a complicated mix of factors, most important of which was how long I&#8217;d been at the company. Having been there for X amount of years, I&#8217;d make X amount of money. Then later, when I&#8217;d been at the company for Y years, I&#8217;d be making Y.</p>
<p>Yay. Worst. System. Ever. Gotta love the Old People Win and Young People Get Screwed System of Rewards and Penalties.<br />
<span id="more-249"></span><br />
So when I was told I hadn&#8217;t been at the company long enough to get a raise, I kindly mentioned that I&#8217;d doubled my quota for the year. And I figured, by looking at store sales and such, that I&#8217;d grossed the company an insane amount of extra income that year and that they could therefore afford to give me a raise despite having people who don&#8217;t use logic in the Payroll Department.</p>
<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s more complicated than that,&#8221; I was told.</p>
<p>&#8220;No. Not really,&#8221; I said. &#8220;How about I just get a little bonus. Say $2,000? Drop in the bucket really. And it&#8217;s a tax write-off for all that extra cash I made you.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;People in hourly positions like you don&#8217;t get bonuses,&#8221; I was told.</p>
<p>&#8220;So,&#8221; I began, putting on my Perry Mason courtroom disguise. &#8220;I doubled my quota, increased the income of the company by maybe six-figures, out produced the majority of my peers, even those that have been here for many years longer. And I can&#8217;t get a raise? Or a bonus?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;No.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Thank you for the explanation. How &#8217;bout this then? One extra week of vacation?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Your vacation time won&#8217;t change until you&#8217;ve been here for five years.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Okay, well, here&#8217;s another idea. Since I doubled my quota, I&#8217;ve essentially done all the work I needed to do for the next year. Can I take a year off with full pay please?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Sure. Have fun.&#8221;</p>
<p>Just kidding. The official answer was something between, &#8220;No&#8221; and, &#8220;Eat shit, thank you for playing.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;So, basically,&#8221; I said, knowing for a fact that the human in front of me had in fact been replaced by a bowl of jello, &#8220;no matter how hard I work or how much I help the company I will never get a single solitary benefit from doing so?&#8221;</p>
<p>(shrug went the jello)</p>
<p>That was it. Well, not really, because my big mouth also earned an increased production quota for the next year. Yay again. Welcome to Socialism. Er, excuse me. Corporate America I mean.</p>
<h2>If you ONLY get paid for the bare minimum, you&#8217;ll only DO the bare minimum</h2>
<p>The funny part of this arrangement is that it puts each employee into a situation where they are completely and totally unable to change their condition. Nor will they care to try after a while. With that sort of pay/reward system there is ZERO benefit to putting in extra work, trying harder, being productive, staying overtime, streamlining the system, thinking, having ideas and making things faster. There is no benefit whatsoever. No matter how hard I worked, I would never see an extra dime, extra day of vacation, bonus, pay raise&#8230;nothing. This is all the exact opposite of entrepreneurialism (is that a word?). </p>
<p>Nine-to-fivers, for the most part, are subject to just this sort of illogical derangement. They&#8217;re locked in at an hourly rate, a set salary, a set bonus structure, etc. While some of those pay structures <strong>can</strong> be very very good, it doesn&#8217;t change this fact, and mark this well if you have even a single person (including yourself) on your payroll:</p>
<p><strong>If the pay system is NOT based on production, it will eventually break all to shit.</strong></p>
<p>Germany proved this in the mid 1900&#8242;s by doing the exact opposite and imploding the whole country&#8217;s face in.</p>
<p>When your hard work is rewarded financially, production goes up, statistics soar and workers get happier. And oddly enough they start to like the company and product more as well. Interesting, that.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve all known this since we were kids. We mowed the lawn and earned $5. So why not mow two lawns and make $10? That&#8217;s how it should be and, honestly, that really is the simplicity of it.</p>
<p>And luckily that&#8217;s how it is for entrepreneurs. Well, mostly. And I added that &#8220;mostly&#8221; in there because someone in the comments is going to say, &#8220;But, Charlie, it&#8217;s more complex than that. You&#8217;re forgetting about import excise numbers multiplied by the parallel of the hypotenuse on the gross amount paid before taxes on your 401k structure. Oh and then there are accounting fees and the dragons too. Plus&#8230;that whole ozone layer thing.&#8221;</p>
<p>Yeah, probably, whatever.</p>
<p>But no, not really. At all.</p>
<p><strong>When production is rewarded, you get higher production.</strong></p>
<p>That is it. Game, Set and Match. Oh&#8230;<em>and</em> a touchdown. I win, and so do you if you&#8217;re an entrepreneur or are lucky enough to work at a company where people get it. Which is unlikely. Sorry.</p>
<h2>What the hell <em>was</em> all that anyway?</h2>
<p>Yeah, I know. This is a sort of a roundabout story and weird way to make a point. So it goes&#8230;sometimes I&#8217;d rather teach people about a cube by showing them a sphere, telling them what a corner is and letting them sort the rest out for themselves.</p>
<p>So, if your bulb isn&#8217;t burning as brightly as it should at the moment, the moral of the story is this: </p>
<p>Entrepreneurs (usually) get paid in ratio to their effort and not by some Socialist, complex system of illogics. The harder you work (hopefully) the more you&#8217;ll make, and you can give yourself fat bonuses any time you wish.</p>
<p>You want more money? Put in more hours, figure out a way to work faster and smarter. Market to a new group of people. Try a new ad or test some new headlines on old ads. Create a new product that can replace or enhance the service you provide&#8230;or vice versa.</p>
<p>The possibilities are infinite, but the fact remains that when you&#8217;re in charge of your own financial destiny, every little thing can help. And sometimes in a big big way. And the extra money you make doesn&#8217;t get filtered around to the exec strata (or worse yet, the non-producers) but to yourself. It&#8217;s all right and proper.</p>
<p>So be an entrepreneur. Work your ass off; you&#8217;re gonna need to. But you&#8217;ll get the rewards that you&#8217;d likely never see as a nine-to-fiver.</p>
<p>Stay tuned for the next part in the series, in which we&#8217;ll explore a subject I haven&#8217;t thought of yet, but I&#8217;m sure will be just as erotic as this one was.</p>
<p>You won&#8217;t want to miss it. I don&#8217;t think. So <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/IgniteLiving">subscribe now</a>.</p>
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		<title>Your money, voodoo and the leprechauns</title>
		<link>http://www.igniteliving.com/making-money/your-money-voodoo-and-the-leprechauns/</link>
		<comments>http://www.igniteliving.com/making-money/your-money-voodoo-and-the-leprechauns/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:00:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Charlie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Making money]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.igniteliving.com/?p=231</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.igniteliving.com/wp-content/uploads/IgniteLiving-Image-Prep.jpg" alt="IgniteLiving-Image-Prep" title="IgniteLiving-Image-Prep" width="480" height="210" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-247" /><br />
<span class="dropcap">W</span>e&#8217;ve just ushered in 2009. We&#8217;ve got electric cars, skyscrapers and the ability to urinate while floating around in outer space. I mean&#8230;we&#8217;re like crazy techno freaks now.</p>
<p>So it struck me as sort of odd the other&#8230;</p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.igniteliving.com/wp-content/uploads/IgniteLiving-Image-Prep.jpg" alt="IgniteLiving-Image-Prep" title="IgniteLiving-Image-Prep" width="480" height="210" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-247" /><br />
<span class="dropcap">W</span>e&#8217;ve just ushered in 2009. We&#8217;ve got electric cars, skyscrapers and the ability to urinate while floating around in outer space. I mean&#8230;we&#8217;re like crazy techno freaks now.</p>
<p>So it struck me as sort of odd the other day when someone said to me, straight to my face, while looking in my eyes, &#8220;Money hates me and avoids me.&#8221;</p>
<p>I laughed hysterically for a while until I realized the person wasn&#8217;t laughing along with me and was actually quite serious. So I had to cover up and say, &#8220;Oh! Ahem&#8230;excuse me&#8230;that&#8217;s, uh&#8230;my allergies.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Allergies make you laugh at people?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Uh&#8230;it&#8217;s a&#8230;pollen&#8230;thing.&#8221;</p>
<p>While choking back more laughter, I had to struggle my wits around the statement.</p>
<h3>&#8220;Money avoids me.&#8221;</h3>
<p>Despite our ability to split atoms and walk on the moon, there&#8217;s still this odd voodoo/mojo/magic/aura/mumbo-jumbo thingy about money and how it comes and goes. Or fails to do so, for the less fortunate.</p>
<p>Well, I took it upon myself to do some ultra-scientific tests about money, how it works and how it gets from one place to the other. Preferably your hand to my wallet.</p>
<h2>The Truth About Money</h2>
<p>Seriously now. As we all embark (or wish to) upon business and life, the first thing we need to do when it comes to making money is <strong>banish the thought that it&#8217;s not ours</strong>, that it somehow avoids us and that we don&#8217;t deserve it.</p>
<p>People are afraid to even dream about hoping to commence upon considering the possibility that they may, someday, if the stars align, start a business. They worry, first, that they may fail. That worry is at partially based on a false idea that money is somehow self-motivated and out of one&#8217;s control. Like money is out there and just chooses to grace Company A with profits and inversely runs screaming from Company B willy nilly, nothing we can do about it.</p>
<p>Ain&#8217;t so. My very scientific researches uncovered the truth about money and I&#8217;d like to share them with you now:</p>
<ul>
<li>Money has no mind, no thoughts and no personality.</li>
<li> Money doesn&#8217;t know your name or where you live.</li>
<li>Money doesn&#8217;t know if you work 1 hour a week or 14 hours a day. Nor does it care in the least. </li>
<li>Money is not drawn to people with strong personalities. </li>
<li>Money isn&#8217;t offended if you smell like rotten armpit.</li>
<li>Money does not avoid people who wear excessive plaid. </li>
<li>Money doesn&#8217;t have a favorite color, but if it did I bet it would be &#8220;off-magenta.&#8221; </li>
<li>Money doesn&#8217;t desire to drive a nice car or have slumber parties with its friends. </li>
<li>When it gets up in the morning and thinks about what it wants to do today, it has absolutely no fucking clue. </li>
</ul>
<p>Do you get what I&#8217;m saying here?</li>
<p>Money is dead. It&#8217;s paper. It&#8217;s a thing, with no more mind or personality than a brick or your left knee. (For people who actually do keep their personality in their left knee, my apologies.)</p>
<p>Nobody deserves money more than another and nobody is more entitled to it than you are. Money is created and earned by much less complicated means than all of our strange ideas would suggest.</p>
<p>&#8220;Well, what about me?&#8221; you ask. &#8220;I&#8217;ve been working hard for 20 years and I&#8217;ve got about six nickels to rub together. Money avoids me like the plague.&#8221;</p>
<p>Bummer, and I understand. I&#8217;ve been there too. But money is NOT avoiding you because <strong>money can&#8217;t avoid anything</strong>. Avoidance assumes a power of choice, and money&#8217;s ability to make a decision ranks somewhere between that of cardboard and a chicken nugget.</p>
<p><strong>If you currently have no money, it means you haven&#8217;t earned, haven&#8217;t saved or both.<br />
</strong><br />
So let&#8217;s be done with these frilly other-worldly explanations. Money is not based on magic, karma, your facial features, childhood memories, freckles, height, luck, beneficent blessings from The Great Creator or leprechauns.</p>
<p>Okay&#8230;maybe leprechauns. I&#8217;m still looking into this one.</p>
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