Okay, well, apparently every month or so I get a wild hair and decide I’m going to offend 99% of the world’s population. Last time, I went on a tear about productivity blogs. This time my foe has grown. Welcome, in the red corner, weighing in at one berzillion pounds, the undefeated Facebook.

Ding! Round 1

I’m starting off the round with a pretty wicked feint. I have to admit I actually think Facebook is pretty amazing. I mean, you can leave messages for your friends, chat with them, find someone to have sex with, send people fake beers, play fake cards, check your fake horoscope and about 80 zillion other mostly not-real things.

Not to mention, you can’t really go complaining too much about something that is just an application. Until it’s put to use, it’s just an inert thing. Like a chainsaw, which is just sort of ho-hum until you saw someone off at the ankles. At which point your family picnic becomes a whole different type of awesome.

So the problem with Facebook is with the people who use Facebook. For everything. All the time.

Instead of living.

Living is awesome.
Pretend living is only pretend awesome.

I think it’s cool that people want to send me a fake beer over Facebook. I’m glad I can refuse to join everyone’s fake mafia group. Or let everyone know that I just became a fan of fake not dying. Or that 84 people just compared me to 84 other people and think that I am without a doubt taller/funnier/likely to fail/smelly/most like William Shatner.

My beef isn’t with the intentions; it’s good to be on your friend’s minds. That’s what makes you friends.

My beef is with the fake. I’d rather meet a real person in real life for a real beer. I’d rather refuse to join a real mafia group in person than refuse to join a fake one online. I’d rather not die in real life than just click a button that says I vote for not dying. I’d rather spend a good half-hour in real conversation looking in someone’s real eyeballs to determine what they think of me than be part of a survey. I’d rather get into a real fight than be challenged to a fake duel online.

I bring this up why? Two reasons:

One. Use your time wisely, and don’t wonder why your income is lousy when 4 hours of your day are devoted to your MySpace and Facebook profiles.

Two. From what I’ve been reading, it seems employers across the nation are starting to look toward Facebook networks as part of their hiring process. A large Facebook network must mean you’ve got friends, clients, customers and know how to do business.

Yeah, but not really. Not at all in fact.

It takes zero effort to make a friend on Facebook. It doesn’t take even a single word of actual conversation. No social graces. No manners. No problem-recognizing or problem-solving ability. No ability to cross the street without getting hit by a taxi. No ability to give a real handshake, not one of those clammy limp ones that afterwards makes you feel like you need to take a bath in Purell.

Nor does a network of zillions mean you’ve ever sold even a single product, had a conversation with a client or stepped out of your parents’ basement in the last decade.

What it probably means is that Iron Maiden fans really tend to stick together.

Or that someone has spent an ungodly amount of time learning to speak Klingon.

The internet is an awesome place for networking, for sure. Absolutely. My entire livelihood is provided by the existence of the internet, so I’m not about to start bashing it.

But don’t make the mistake of substituting a real life with stuff you do online.

And don’t make the mistake of hiring someone with whom you have a conversation like this:

You: “So…tell me. What are your qualifications for this position?”

Facebook Guru: “I have high-score.”

You: “K. Uh. High-score at what?”

Facebook Guru: “High-score on the internet. I win.”

You: “Oh. Wow. I wasn’t aware they were really keeping track of that.”

Facebook Guru: “w00t!”

Instead, maybe hire someone with, you know…skills and stuff.

Welcome to part one of Ignite Living’s “Why You Owe it to Yourself to be an Entrepreneur” series. In this series we’re going to explore…guess what? That’s right. Why you owe it to yourself to be an entrepreneur.

We’re gonna start this series off with a subject that’s very close to our hearts, stomachs and landlords: money.

If I were to give my top two reasons for becoming an entrepreneur, the first would be freedom and the second would be money.

Now, how much money you make as an entrepreneur will mostly be in ratio to your industriousness, marketing ability and many other factors, so it wouldn’t be fully truthful for me to say all entrepreneurs make more money.

However, the potential for you to make sick amounts of cash is much higher as an entrepreneur. And I can illustrate this by telling you a real-life story that is entirely not even a lie. About me. In my old corporate job. At a HUGE company that I guarantee you’ve heard of, from which you’ve bought stuff and which should have known better.

Corporate suckiness

Back when I was in the corporate world, I out-produced my quota by double. I’m not patting my own back. It’s just the job was easy and I was antisocial and never once left my desk ever, hence production. After the third year of doing this, I asked for what I thought would be a fitting raise and was given the awesome response of “no.”

I wanted to know the reason for that so I asked, “What’s the reason for that?”

My pay, I came to learn, was actually part of a complicated mix of factors, most important of which was how long I’d been at the company. Having been there for X amount of years, I’d make X amount of money. Then later, when I’d been at the company for Y years, I’d be making Y.

Yay. Worst. System. Ever. Gotta love the Old People Win and Young People Get Screwed System of Rewards and Penalties.

So when I was told I hadn’t been at the company long enough to get a raise, I kindly mentioned that I’d doubled my quota for the year. And I figured, by looking at store sales and such, that I’d grossed the company an insane amount of extra income that year and that they could therefore afford to give me a raise despite having people who don’t use logic in the Payroll Department.

“It’s more complicated than that,” I was told.

“No. Not really,” I said. “How about I just get a little bonus. Say $2,000? Drop in the bucket really. And it’s a tax write-off for all that extra cash I made you.”

“People in hourly positions like you don’t get bonuses,” I was told.

“So,” I began, putting on my Perry Mason courtroom disguise. “I doubled my quota, increased the income of the company by maybe six-figures, out produced the majority of my peers, even those that have been here for many years longer. And I can’t get a raise? Or a bonus?”

“No.”

“Thank you for the explanation. How ’bout this then? One extra week of vacation?”

“Your vacation time won’t change until you’ve been here for five years.”

“Okay, well, here’s another idea. Since I doubled my quota, I’ve essentially done all the work I needed to do for the next year. Can I take a year off with full pay please?”

“Sure. Have fun.”

Just kidding. The official answer was something between, “No” and, “Eat shit, thank you for playing.”

“So, basically,” I said, knowing for a fact that the human in front of me had in fact been replaced by a bowl of jello, “no matter how hard I work or how much I help the company I will never get a single solitary benefit from doing so?”

(shrug went the jello)

That was it. Well, not really, because my big mouth also earned an increased production quota for the next year. Yay again. Welcome to Socialism. Er, excuse me. Corporate America I mean.

If you ONLY get paid for the bare minimum, you’ll only DO the bare minimum

The funny part of this arrangement is that it puts each employee into a situation where they are completely and totally unable to change their condition. Nor will they care to try after a while. With that sort of pay/reward system there is ZERO benefit to putting in extra work, trying harder, being productive, staying overtime, streamlining the system, thinking, having ideas and making things faster. There is no benefit whatsoever. No matter how hard I worked, I would never see an extra dime, extra day of vacation, bonus, pay raise…nothing. This is all the exact opposite of entrepreneurialism (is that a word?).

Nine-to-fivers, for the most part, are subject to just this sort of illogical derangement. They’re locked in at an hourly rate, a set salary, a set bonus structure, etc. While some of those pay structures can be very very good, it doesn’t change this fact, and mark this well if you have even a single person (including yourself) on your payroll:

If the pay system is NOT based on production, it will eventually break all to shit.

Germany proved this in the mid 1900’s by doing the exact opposite and imploding the whole country’s face in.

When your hard work is rewarded financially, production goes up, statistics soar and workers get happier. And oddly enough they start to like the company and product more as well. Interesting, that.

We’ve all known this since we were kids. We mowed the lawn and earned $5. So why not mow two lawns and make $10? That’s how it should be and, honestly, that really is the simplicity of it.

And luckily that’s how it is for entrepreneurs. Well, mostly. And I added that “mostly” in there because someone in the comments is going to say, “But, Charlie, it’s more complex than that. You’re forgetting about import excise numbers multiplied by the parallel of the hypotenuse on the gross amount paid before taxes on your 401k structure. Oh and then there are accounting fees and the dragons too. Plus…that whole ozone layer thing.”

Yeah, probably, whatever.

But no, not really. At all.

When production is rewarded, you get higher production.

That is it. Game, Set and Match. Oh…and a touchdown. I win, and so do you if you’re an entrepreneur or are lucky enough to work at a company where people get it. Which is unlikely. Sorry.

What the hell was all that anyway?

Yeah, I know. This is a sort of a roundabout story and weird way to make a point. So it goes…sometimes I’d rather teach people about a cube by showing them a sphere, telling them what a corner is and letting them sort the rest out for themselves.

So, if your bulb isn’t burning as brightly as it should at the moment, the moral of the story is this:

Entrepreneurs (usually) get paid in ratio to their effort and not by some Socialist, complex system of illogics. The harder you work (hopefully) the more you’ll make, and you can give yourself fat bonuses any time you wish.

You want more money? Put in more hours, figure out a way to work faster and smarter. Market to a new group of people. Try a new ad or test some new headlines on old ads. Create a new product that can replace or enhance the service you provide…or vice versa.

The possibilities are infinite, but the fact remains that when you’re in charge of your own financial destiny, every little thing can help. And sometimes in a big big way. And the extra money you make doesn’t get filtered around to the exec strata (or worse yet, the non-producers) but to yourself. It’s all right and proper.

So be an entrepreneur. Work your ass off; you’re gonna need to. But you’ll get the rewards that you’d likely never see as a nine-to-fiver.

Stay tuned for the next part in the series, in which we’ll explore a subject I haven’t thought of yet, but I’m sure will be just as erotic as this one was.

You won’t want to miss it. I don’t think. So subscribe now.

“Thanks for the offer, but I really just want to make it on my own steam.”

Have you ever heard that one before?

Better yet, have you ever felt like that or maybe even said it yourself? Ever feel that maybe you’d be abusing a relationship if you used it for a business connection?

It’s time to disabuse ourselves of this idea.

I say milk every connection, every network and every opportunity that comes your way.

You have to pay your dues.

This is true. Honestly, I think it is, and you’ll see what I mean in a sec. I’m not just trying to contradict myself.

The thing is that the cliche is not even slightly applicable when you’re confronted with the opportunity to network and really use your connections. People who think you’re taking the easy way out or having life handed to you are missing one very vital truth:

Paying your dues is done way before opportunity starts knocking or people take notice of you.

Think about it. If some celebrity or friend or big-time pal of yours wants to help you out, that’s because you’re already good at what you’re doing. If you sucked ass at what you do, nobody would be offering to help you and networking opportunities would be exactly zero.

Here, meet Andy. A “lucky guy who had it all handed to him.”

Andy McKee is an extraordinary acoustic guitar player, human being and one of the best song-writers of our time. You’ve probably never heard of him, and just a little while ago nobody else had either.

Andy went from unknown invisible person to somewhat famous basically because of YouTube. One second, Andy doesn’t exist. Couple weeks later, the videos of him playing have millions and millions of views. In no time he’s getting radio hits, guest gigs, touring the US and Asia, selling CDs, DVDs and sheet music. He’s hit the big time. Not Christina Aguilera Big Time, but about as big as you can expect for a solo guitar player. He’s set for life if he keeps up the great work.

Did he shortcut the process by using YouTube, or by getting a record deal with a great company? Did Andy not pay his dues? Some people would say so.

But not me, and probably not you either. I’m a guitar player and I can tell you that to get as good as Andy requires one thing: you trade in your social life for your craft. To play like Andy you have to play and play and play. You play until your fingers hurt and your callouses peel off and then you play some more. You bend yourself over the fretboard until your back is killing you and your eyes are blurry. Then you wake up and do it again the next day.

To get good at anything, you don’t go out and party every night and all weekend. You don’t waste time. You say, “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass,” to much of the fun that your friends are out having. You stay up later than you should to squeeze in some extra practice, to read a few more paragraphs, to write a few more lines.

Just like you, Andy McKee paid his dues long before he made a dime.

I remember when I too had it all handed to me.

While I’m not likening myself to Andy by any means, my own smaller story is similar and you’ll probably find some similarities to your own.

When I started my graphic design and consulting business, all of a sudden I was just sort of “on the scene.” I had a pretty successful company right off the bat. That was met with jealousy from some folks, some even really close to me who thought I was handed success on a silver platter. Ever feel like people thought this of you?

Well, nothing could be further from the truth. I’d been studying graphic design for nearly a decade before I started my own business or even had a single client. I’d designed dozens of websites before I even had the guts to publicly say I was a designer. I’ve been drawing and writing since I was about 5 years old and I’m now 34.

I’ve had numerous business ideas that failed. I’ve been down in the trenches for a long time and have learned how things work by screwing up, practicing, falling on my face and having things just generally catch on fire and fail miserably.

Perhaps you have a similar story, and I’ll bet you do. So don’t be offended when someone thinks you lucked out or took short-cuts or had it just handed to you. This is jealousy, and nothing more.

They’re not jealous of your money or success. Well, maybe a bit. Mostly they’re jealous of your glowing interest in life, your industriousness and integrity to your life goals.

So don’t listen to detractors. Instead pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for those long hours alone, the lonely nights, the crumpled efforts that ended in the trash bin, the sore fingers, lack of social life or subtle suggestions that you shouldn’t work so hard.

Your friends would be as successful as you if their free-time wasn’t spent in front of the television.

There’s no silver platter anywhere in my story, nor in Andy’s and certainly not in yours either. We pay our dues first, and only then does opportunity knock and people take notice.

And when it happens and you finally get that hard-fought success, don’t think you haven’t earned every single second of it!