The truth about paying your dues and “getting lucky”

By Charlie on May 4th, 2009 | 6

success “Thanks for the offer, but I really just want to make it on my own steam.”

Have you ever heard that one before?

Better yet, have you ever felt like that or maybe even said it yourself? Ever feel that maybe you’d be abusing a relationship if you used it for a business connection?

It’s time to disabuse ourselves of this idea.

I say milk every connection, every network and every opportunity that comes your way.

You have to pay your dues.

This is true. Honestly, I think it is, and you’ll see what I mean in a sec. I’m not just trying to contradict myself.

The thing is that the cliche is not even slightly applicable when you’re confronted with the opportunity to network and really use your connections. People who think you’re taking the easy way out or having life handed to you are missing one very vital truth:

Paying your dues is done way before opportunity starts knocking or people take notice of you.

Think about it. If some celebrity or friend or big-time pal of yours wants to help you out, that’s because you’re already good at what you’re doing. If you sucked ass at what you do, nobody would be offering to help you and networking opportunities would be exactly zero.

Here, meet Andy. A “lucky guy who had it all handed to him.”

Andy McKee is an extraordinary acoustic guitar player, human being and one of the best song-writers of our time. You’ve probably never heard of him, and just a little while ago nobody else had either.

Andy went from unknown invisible person to somewhat famous basically because of YouTube. One second, Andy doesn’t exist. Couple weeks later, the videos of him playing have millions and millions of views. In no time he’s getting radio hits, guest gigs, touring the US and Asia, selling CDs, DVDs and sheet music. He’s hit the big time. Not Christina Aguilera Big Time, but about as big as you can expect for a solo guitar player. He’s set for life if he keeps up the great work.

Did he shortcut the process by using YouTube, or by getting a record deal with a great company? Did Andy not pay his dues? Some people would say so.

But not me, and probably not you either. I’m a guitar player and I can tell you that to get as good as Andy requires one thing: you trade in your social life for your craft. To play like Andy you have to play and play and play. You play until your fingers hurt and your callouses peel off and then you play some more. You bend yourself over the fretboard until your back is killing you and your eyes are blurry. Then you wake up and do it again the next day.

To get good at anything, you don’t go out and party every night and all weekend. You don’t waste time. You say, “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass,” to much of the fun that your friends are out having. You stay up later than you should to squeeze in some extra practice, to read a few more paragraphs, to write a few more lines.

Just like you, Andy McKee paid his dues long before he made a dime.

I remember when I too had it all handed to me.

While I’m not likening myself to Andy by any means, my own smaller story is similar and you’ll probably find some similarities to your own.

When I started my graphic design and consulting business, all of a sudden I was just sort of “on the scene.” I had a pretty successful company right off the bat. That was met with jealousy from some folks, some even really close to me who thought I was handed success on a silver platter. Ever feel like people thought this of you?

Well, nothing could be further from the truth. I’d been studying graphic design for nearly a decade before I started my own business or even had a single client. I’d designed dozens of websites before I even had the guts to publicly say I was a designer. I’ve been drawing and writing since I was about 5 years old and I’m now 34.

I’ve had numerous business ideas that failed. I’ve been down in the trenches for a long time and have learned how things work by screwing up, practicing, falling on my face and having things just generally catch on fire and fail miserably.

Perhaps you have a similar story, and I’ll bet you do. So don’t be offended when someone thinks you lucked out or took short-cuts or had it just handed to you. This is jealousy, and nothing more.

They’re not jealous of your money or success. Well, maybe a bit. Mostly they’re jealous of your glowing interest in life, your industriousness and integrity to your life goals.

So don’t listen to detractors. Instead pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for those long hours alone, the lonely nights, the crumpled efforts that ended in the trash bin, the sore fingers, lack of social life or subtle suggestions that you shouldn’t work so hard.

Your friends would be as successful as you if their free-time wasn’t spent in front of the television.

There’s no silver platter anywhere in my story, nor in Andy’s and certainly not in yours either. We pay our dues first, and only then does opportunity knock and people take notice.

And when it happens and you finally get that hard-fought success, don’t think you haven’t earned every single second of it!