What a Lousy Blackjack Dealer Taught me About Customer Service

| Published 2 June, 2008 | 11 Comments

Mini-lesson for those who don’t want to read the whole post: “You probably should have read the whole post.”

I sat down at the Blackjack table, pulled out a $20 and stuck it on the velvety green tabletop for the dealer to change. He gave me four weathered $5 chips, then neglected to wish me luck.

He dealt the cards and I won my first hand, earning another $5 chip.

While beginning to shuffle, the dealer the said, “I’ll get you the next hand.” He didn’t say it with humor or sarcasm, which I wouldn’t have minded one bit. He said it with that awful I’m-king-of-the-world tone possessed by people who enjoy throwing fast-food wrappers out their car windows.

I looked up at him with my eyebrows raised. Not so much from surprise at what he said, but because I’ve rarely had a Blackjack dealer talk to me at all. And I’ve never had a dealer say something other than “Nice hit,” or “Good luck,” or a well-placed “Sorry.”

The dealer noticed me giving him my best stink-eye, shrugged and said, “What? It’s true. It’s only the odds. The dealer usually wins.”

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Posted in Business Essentials | 11 Comments

How to Make $3,400 While on Vacation

| Published 19 May, 2008 | 10 Comments

How to Make Money While on VacationThis last weekend I turned 34. Amidst vacationing on the beach, reading some great books and contemplating future hip replacements, I also kept in touch with potential clients via my phone.

They’d write me and I’d respond with ultra-classy emails such as: “I’m sorry for the short response, but I’m away on vacation until Sunday. I’d be more than happy to discuss your project with you when I return. Until then!”

One for one, without variance, each and every person wrote back and said something along the lines of “Thanks for the prompt reply! And on vacation no less! Enjoy your birthday.”

And one for one those potential clients each became actual clients. Now, only 3 hours into Monday, I’ve got $3400 worth of work lined up for next week. So far. No, that’s not a lot but it’s also not bad for a business that started in late 2007.

I don’t report on my finances much publicly. In fact, that’s the first time I’ve ever done it because people get weird when money is mentioned. They laugh in your face, or start sending you Costco palettes of Top Ramen, or get viciously jealous and steal the hood ornament off your Jag.

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Posted in Business Essentials, Making money | 10 Comments

8 things about me that won’t improve your day

| Published 12 May, 2008 | 59 Comments

Kelly tagged me for this one and I love Kelly so I’d better respond. Thanks for the tag, girl!

The meme this time is to give 8 pieces of juicy info about yourself that others might find interesting. I’m not sure how interesting I am, but I know for a fact that I’m not juicy, so we’ll see how this goes!

I’m not a big fan of talking about myself. I’m an even lesser fan of asking myself questions which then lead me to talk to myself about myself. So, for this one I’ll pretend to be someone else interviewing me. Preferably someone with a super sultry lounge-singer voice. And I’m going to be asking a few questions of myself that will hint at some ways I run my business, make money, etc. Enjoy!

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Posted in The Lighter Side | 59 Comments

There are Only Four Business Styles. Which is Yours?

| Published 28 April, 2008 | 5 Comments

Which Style of Business is Yours?Your customer has money and you want it.

You have a service or product for sale and your customer wants that.

Somewhere between those two is a seemingly delicate balance of who delivers what and for how much money. I say a “seemingly” delicate balance because in truth there’s only one way to intelligently run your business. And when I say “intelligently” I mean with more knowledge than, say, a jar of mayonnaise.

When your client gives you money, you have a choice of what you do with it and what you give him in exchange.

The four types of business exchange

  • Someone gives you money for a product or service and you take it and run. That’s called theft.
  • Someone gives you money and you do a lousy job for them. That’s called being half-ass.
  • Someone gives you money and you do exactly what you say you’ll do. That’s called fair exchange.
  • Someone gives you money and you do exactly what you say, and then a little bit extra. That’s called securing your future.

    • For real business people and people who believe in ethics, options 1 and 2 aren’t options. They’re unethical business practice and could possibly land you in jail and/or with a black-eye and missing teeth. I don’t recommend this route. Unless you just happen to be a fan of cramped spaces and general disfigurement.

    Option 3, just delivering what was expected, is certainly fair. It’s also excruciatingly average. I don’t recommend this route either.

    Option 4, going that little bit further, is the only way to go.

    How to deliver beyond expectations

  • Do it faster. Your client is expecting the project in six days. Extra: Finish it in three.
  • Give them more stuff. Your job is to deliver a horse to your client’s stable. Extra: Throw in the …
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    • Posted in Business Essentials, Making money | 5 Comments

    Productivity Blogs, Hypocrisy and Me Just Generally Getting Some Things Off My Chest

    | Published 21 April, 2008 | 32 Comments

    No, I’m not yelling at you, my readers, I’m just yelling. Even us happy cheery fellows can get mighty pissed.

    Angry PugFor the past who knows how long, I’ve been deleting RSS feeds from my aggregator. The first ones to go are the “how to be productive” ones, or list posts of the “63 new productivity apps that will take hours to learn and mere seconds to irreparably destroy your life.” I’ve got none of those left now in my reader now.

    And I like it.

    Why I’ve Read my Last Productivity Post

    First, I’m bored as hell with this whole subject. I pretty much was after the second or third post I read, months and months ago.

    Second, I’m already productive.

    Third, regardless of how brilliant the productivity info is, 99% of the readers are going to keep on doing what they’re already doing. Most likely that is something that has been working for them just fine, be it Post-It notes, a notebook, phone calendar, whatever. It doesn’t make the slightest bit of difference. If it helps you be productive, it works.

    And there’s this…

    The Piece of Gold That Productivity Gurus Are Clueless About

    For all the tips and tricks, none of the gurus seem to have noticed that productivity isn’t even the problem in the first place.

    When we are interested in our lives, our projects and our hobbies we DO them. Happily and with passion. Hours go by in the heat of production and when we’re done our tendons ache and our eyes burn, but we’re not even slightly tired. We have to force ourselves to sleep while our imaginations continue to burn into the wee hours.

    Nobody has ever habitually forced a passionate man into creating on his passion. If you like what you do, you’ll fit it …

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    Posted in Business Essentials, Happy Living | 32 Comments