What would your childhood think of you now?

| Published 27 October, 2010 | 3 Comments

Step into my time machine here for a moment. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe, even though it smells a bit like vomit. Time travel tends to do that…sorry.

Now, strap yourself in and take a look at the console in front of you. There’s one button on it, and I’ve designed it that way on purpose. The button reads, “Childhood.” I would like you to push it now if you dare.

*click*

The engines rev and WOOSH! We’re off…

Ewww…sorry. Forgot to remind you to grab the vomit bag. My bad. You can do it on the way back.

Childhood

Ah, childhood. Remember that? I mean really…do you?

The air smelled like honey and the sky was blue and the days before Christmas lasted an eternity? You wore mismatched socks and dressed exactly like your best friend. Remember?

Remember those lightning storms and the rain where you lived? You didn’t carry an umbrella then ‘cause you didn’t need to worry about your nice shoes or messing your hair.

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Posted in Happy Living | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

How to act when “you’re all that”

| Published 20 October, 2010 | Leave a comment

Remember how you felt when someone you really liked turned out to be a douchebag?

Like the musician you looked up to and then you found out he ate babies? Or the guy in the Olympics who inspired millions, then got busted for sprinkling steroids on his Mini-Wheats? Or the “human social media guy,” who isn’t actually social enough to respond and appears more like a Twitter cyborg than human?

Thankfully there are plenty of exceptions, and for every a-hole out there, there are diamonds, too. Naomi Dunford is one of them. I’m going to tell you about how she saved my life.

How Naomi saved my life

When I say saved my life, I don’t mean she pulled me out of a flaming cargo container or extracted a contaminated bullet from my gluteus maximus. (Hey, I can wish, right?)

No, Naomi saved me by giving me her time. Now, before you feel all pissed about how anti-climactic that is, I want you to read this and ask yourself if you or the people you know would have done what Naomi did. The dude I talked about last week? No way in Hell.

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Posted in Business Essentials, Happy Living, The Lighter Side | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Dear A-Hole: Hey, you! Social media person! Do you even know what “social” means?

| Published 13 October, 2010 | 10 Comments

Sometimes you come across people who are very very good at their jobs. In fact, you can tell by how they act what their job actually is. Then there are other people, like the recipient of today’s Dear A-Hole love note, who say one thing, do another and leave it for their tagline to sort it all out.

Dear Social Media A-hole,

Look, dude…I know you’re a big deal. I know you’ve got a couple books on the shelves at Barnes and Noble. That’s awesome, really, and I know you’ve done a great job of getting where you want to be.

You get to speak at big expos and command a billion reTweets for your ideas. If fame and fortune were what I’m after I’d be jealous, so I guess that’s something. And I’m not at all being sarcastic.

But the truth is, I don’t care much about those things. However, I have an insatiable appetite for observing people in their realm and seeing how they roll. Here’s what I observed recently:

I sent you a Tweet. You didn’t respond.

Then I sent another. No response. Hmmm…

Then you asked a general but meaningful question to your Twitter audience ‘cause you needed some help. I answered you with a helpful answer. But you didn’t respond to that either, not even with a general, “Thanks, everyone!”

Then later, you Tweeted that your site was awesome. I looked at it, and it was broken. So I told you. And guess what? That’s right, no response.

Four messages you got from me. Nice ones…helpful ones even. And I get crickets in return.

So many people to ignore, so little time.

I know you’re busy. But if you’ve got time to Tweet about your meals and trips to the store, you just lost “I’m too busy to respond” as an excuse.

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Posted in Business Essentials, The Lighter Side | Tagged , | 10 Comments

Why we need you

| Published 6 October, 2010 | 4 Comments

Can you imagine what the world would be like if I personally wrote all the books, composed all the music and designed everyone’s clothes? And what if every restaurant only served food I’d cooked from recipes of my own creation? I assure you, it would be Hell for everyone, especially me.

That’s exactly why we need you.

We need you because you are not us.

You’ve got ideas we don’t have. Maybe they’re similar, sure. But your idea is in pink, or rotated a bit, or created with a different font, or illustrated by a genius artist.

Just because you want to become an author or consultant or whatever, amongst thousands of other authors and consultants and whatevers, doesn’t mean your idea is “taken”.

After all, “becoming a _______” isn’t the whole idea, is it? Neither is “painting a picture” or “starting a business” or “becoming a consultant”.

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Posted in Happy Living, Making money | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

7 ways to turn nibbles into bites and land more clients

| Published 28 September, 2010 | 3 Comments

New client emails hit my mailbox pretty much every day. These are people needing websites, ebook designs, consultations, etc. I maintain a pretty strict (that does not mean “no fun”) policy of how I treat these leads and try to turn them into paying gigs.

Over the past couple years, I’ve developed what I think are some very basic, but often-forgotten, necessities that help me do just that. And when I do get surprised by “the one that got away”, more often than not, it’s because I’ve made a mistake and ignored one of the following.

Let’s check ‘em out!

First and foremost, grant them importance

If you’re a service provider, your clients put food in your mouth, pay your rent and fill your car with gas. Clients are your guardian angels. That ought to be enough said right there.

But clients are also your comrades. Meaning, yeah…they pay your bills, but look past the money for a moment. These people are fellow humans. Be nice. Listen when they talk. Read their email. Ask questions if you don’t understand. Or explain further if you feel they didn’t understand something.

Don’t just show them your package

Um…let me illustrate this one with a quick how-not-to:

Client: “I want a logo. How much?”

You: “$200.”

And thus ends that conversation.

Why? Because window shopping isn’t just about price. It’s also about the vibe, the personalities involved, touchy-feelies and warm-fuzzies.

Throwing a dollar amount at someone doesn’t inspire them to work with you. Throwing a dollar amount at someone and doing it with personality does just that.

Be nice. Make them laugh. Ask them how they’re doing. Say “nice to meet you” and “thanks for getting in touch” and other things that you’d say to a real human.

Wait…potential clients are real humans?

Don’t judge too soon. You never know who’s on the other end

I get a lot of emails that just say, “How much for a logo/ebook/website?” No “hello,” no “thank you” and sometimes not even a name.

Now, such terse and unfriendly emails might lead you to think there’s a jerk on the other end. Or someone who’s not serious about the job. Or any number of things. And you’d probably be wrong.

Some of the shortest and driest emails I’ve received have turned into the friendliest and most productive relationships.

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Posted in Business Essentials, Making money | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments